Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Diary of a wannabe writer - The financial fuck myself experiment....

My name is Jeff Ching and lately I’ve become one lazy fuck.  There was a point where I had a crazy amount of drive, and I had written 3 feature length screenplays in one year...but that was a time where I was unemployed and too fucking lazy to look for a job.  Now I have a job, but I’m too lazy to write screenplays.  As you can see, laziness is a part of my DNA.  Can I use that excuse?  A lot of people like to shit on lazy people, but...if I had a choice, I wouldn’t be lazy.  It’s God’s fault for putting that shit in my DNA. 

It’s also an unfortunate reality that all of us film school graduates have learned which is that the film industry simply sucks a lot of cock. Maybe I’ll save that for another blog, this isn’t going to turn into me bitching and whining. 

Anyways, it’s been a year and a half since I wrote anything.  I have a massive well of ideas, but I can’t seem to focus on one.  What also doesn’t help is having access to the best DVD collection in the world (yeah yeah, I’m sure people who’ve been over to my house will dispute this, but fuck you guys!! I have the best DVD collection in the world) often leads to getting home from work tired, and just wanting to watch something good. 

I need to do something about this.  Making a living off my screenwriting is still my ultimate dream, and not writing anything sure as hell isn’t the way to achieve it.  So, to give me some drive to get back into writing, I’m doing a little experiment on myself.  This is the financial fuck myself plan which makes more sense than America’s sequester plan.  So, I made a deal with a friend of mine.  On March 17th, I must deliver either 30 pages of a feature length screenplay, a short film script, 3 episodes of a webseries, or the pilot of a sitcom, and if I don’t deliver on this, I have to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to my friend for free.  For those of you non-stoners, that’s $65 I’m losing if I don’t deliver on this.  Perhaps I will do this every single week or every two weeks. 

Hopefully these financial threats will light a fire under my ass.  Who knows?  I made this deal with my friend on March 3rd, and I haven’t started writing anything yet.  In fact, this blog is the first thing I’ve written.  With that being said, I think I’m going to force myself to write one blog a week...I can’t guarantee they’ll be good.  I just want to write something honest about my quest to make a living off writing.  While I may have very few talents, there is one thing that I’m good at, correction...I’m fucking good at and that’s writing comedy.   Don’t get me wrong, I would trade my ability to write dick, poop and abortion jokes any day to be able to understand quantum mechanics, and be able to look at a mathematical formula and be like, “ that’s how the universe works.”  But, this is the talent I have...and perhaps putting on awesome laser shows, but uhh...I think I’m going to stick with my writing.  On March 18th, I will offer closure to this anecdote. 

Click here to go back to: The Ching of Comedy

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