Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Financial fuck myself writing experiment part 2

BE WARNED: I use the word "epic" way too many times in this blog. I'm sorry. It hopefully won't happen again.

For those not familiar with my financial fuck myself writing experiment, here’s the first blog I wrote about it.:

Okay, so an update on the first experiment.  Bad news is, I did indeed financially fuck myself (might I add I fucked myself even more by putting money on Carlos Condit to beat Johny Hendricks at the last UFC).  The email that I wrote to the recipient stated, “On Sunday March 17th...11:59 PM, I have to send you a piece of writing. I don't know yet what it will be as I'm deciding between like 5 different ideas. It either has to be 30 pages of a feature, one episode of a sitcom (22 pages), a short film script, or 3 episodes of a webseries titled The Human Project (I've written one episode so far). So, if I don't deliver on March 17th, a free quarter bag of soil will come your way.”
Maybe I don’t have to spell it out, but soil being our code word for weed...I guess making my pot dealer my gardener.  Maybe not the best code words in the world.  I ended up going with a feature-length romantic comedy.  Bad news was that I failed to deliver 30 pages.  On the other hand, I didn't completly fail at writing either. I delivered 20 pages.  Whether those 20 pages were good, I don’t know.  The reader and uhh...gardening enthusiast got back to me immediately with script notes which I really appreciate.  She seems to sort of enjoy it so far.  It’s far from the best stuff I’ve ever written, but I’m sure I’ll make it better with re-writes.  So, I lost $65. Anyways, for the first time in...maybe ever, I don’t look forward to the phone call I’ll be making to my pot dea...I mean...gardener. 

Well okay, by epic I don’t mean I’m wagering an epic amount of money.  

So, it’s a new week and a new financial fuck myself challenge. This week I have a clear focus.  I’m in a writers group with 2 other people.  I’m not even sure what our writer’s group is called...I think it’s the Fuck Robert McKee Writers Group Extravaganza, or Do The Write Thing...I use the latter name when I mention the writers group on my resume.  Anyways, Scott started out a script that had a Twilight Zone like feel to it, wrote 5 pages then passed it off to Warren.  Then Warren wrote 5 pages and passed it off to me, then I wrote my bit then passed it back to Scott.  We’re almost at the very end of the script (now the 90 page mark)...so this week I need to stop procrastinating and write my final bit of the script, either 5 to 10 pages, then Scott will finish it off.  Ya know what, let's go with 10 pages. This is my last entry to it, so I'll go bigger.
If I don’t deliver the script to Warren and Scott by this Sunday at 11:59 PM, Warren’s $40 debt with me will be wiped clean.  I had thought of making a deal that I’d never be allowed to crack immature jokes about his homosexuality again, but that’s too big a risk.  Plus, he’d ultimately lose out on a shitload of laughter.  I don’t wish to deprive my friend of the best medicine in the world. He may live longer due to my "funny" immature gay jokes.
As for Scott...I don’t know, he makes way more money than I do, so I’ll just say that if I don’t deliver, I will never again try to force my musical taste down his throat.  No more showing up to his house with a burned CD being like, “Yo, you gotta check this band out!  They’re awesome!”  to him shortly getting back to me being like, “Yeah...didn’t really like it.”  That shit will end if I don’t deliver my part of the script.

A little more about the script, the working title is, The Epic Script.  Why?  Because it is motherfucking epic, that’s why.  The story is epic...well epic in just how fucked up and insane it gets...and how stupid it is as well. I may have been the first person to turn a somewhat intruiging concept into a total farce, but I think Scott and Warren out-farced me at times, and now it seems like a competition of who can out-farce the other person in the most epic way. Characters introduced by Scott would immediately get killed off when Warren takes over, and when Warren tries to introduce new characters, I kill them off, and so on...
On June 11th, 2009, when I finished my part and sent it to Scott for him to take over the script, here is the email he sent to Warren and I:

"Alright, yeah, that's it...I'm out. This is...I...what the fuck is wrong with youse guys? I don't want to have any part of this anymore. So I'm done. I'm out. This is just...really? Come on. I would like to take my name off of the credits and disown the both of you as friends."
We told him that if he stopped, he's not a real writer, we may have threatened him a little bit, and he reluctantly continued the epic script. Fast forward to today... 
Unfortunately for him, the epic script is still going, and worst of all...Warren and I are still his friends.

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